Human beings often focus on what we don’t want and what we want less of.
Then we spend much of our time and energy trying to problem-solve our way to a better place, without really knowing where that place is or what it would look like.
In contrast, the solution focused approach draws attention to what we do want and what we want more of.
We explore where we want to go, instead of where we want to leave.
This is a simple but powerful shift.
Instead of problem-solving we focus on solution-building, which is very different.
Working out where we want to get to or how we want things to be is a key factor in making change happen.
A person gets into a taxi on a cold, dark night. They shut the door and tell the driver to get going.
‘Where to?’ asks the driver
‘Somewhere else’ replies the passenger
Driver waits patiently…
‘I don’t like it here, this isn’t where I want to be’ explains the passenger
Driver looks at the passenger in the mirror and cocks their head quizzically.
‘So where would you like to be?’ asks the driver
‘I’m not sure’ says the passenger. ‘I’ve been to some horrible places, I definitely don’t want to go there again’
‘So where do you want to go?’ asks the driver
‘Erm’ says the passenger… ‘I don’t know.’ [Pauses and thinks] ‘Somewhere safe I guess. And warm. With food.’
‘There are five nice inns nearby, which one would you like to go to?’ asks the driver.
The passenger thinks for a bit longer… ‘I remember a lovely place, it had roses round the door and a big climbing frame for the kids, they did really good pie and chips and there was a cosy log fire in every room’
‘I know the one’ says the driver, starting up the engine. ‘We’ll be there in 5 minutes’
I will always start the first session in a block of work by asking ‘What are your best hopes from our talking together?’
Sometimes it will take just a few minutes to get to your desired outcome, other times it can take most of the first session.
However long it takes, it’s time well spent.
Because when we know exactly where we want to go, we’re much more likely to get there.
And, quite often, we arrive there surprisingly fast.
phoenixology 